Monday, March 17, 2008

It's St. Patty's Day-I'm Grateful, Excited AND Lucky!

I'm feeling a little retrospective today. A few things wandered their way into my mind and made me smile. First of all, I was thinking about how I've been engaged twice. I was engaged in 1998. I broke off that engagement. Hardest thing I ever did. Not because I was hesitant but because he was a lovely man. Truly. We were supposed to have a black tie affair at the Copley Plaza in Boston. It was 3.5 months before our wedding when I dropped the bomb. I wish I had listened to my heart a lot earlier, I'm sure it would have made things so much easier for all parties involved. That said, I was never one to move forward with something I didn't feel comforatible with, even if that meant going against the grain. So, I ended it. But honestly, it was the beginning of the best to come. I had always wondered what happened to a certain someone that I dated when I was 21. Was he in a serious relationship, what would have happened if I never broke up with him years before...would we have stayed together? Long story short: after my breakup I decided to vacation in San Francisco by myself. At the time I was living and working in Boston. I'm not going to lie: I had an agenda. I called up my old "certain someone" and asked if he would like to grab a drink when I was in town. He said that he would love to. He picked me up, we had drinks, dinner, conversation and BOOM, that was it. We were finished. My vacation ended, I went back to Boston, quit my job in Advertising and moved to San Francisco to be closer to him. Six months later he proposed on bended knee on a vacation in Mendocino and nine months later we were married. He's my Mr. I'm very lucky. He's been the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't get me wrong, marraige is work and it can be difficult but at the end of the day travelling through life with your best friend and confidant is what it's all about. For the Mr. I'm grateful. It's been an amazing ride and here's to us this year-8 years!

I was also at the playground with Hunter today and again feeling some kind of raging sappiness come over me. It took us so long to get him. Three and a half years to be exact. After a lot of practicing then meeting with a fertility team in San Francisco and hearing my diagnosis we got help. It was our ninth round of fertility treatments & our third round of a completed IVF cycle that brought us the little man. What a miracle. I adore him more than I ever even knew possible. Forget the sun, he's the sunshine that warms me everyday. For the little man I'm grateful too.

What am I excited about? Well, just the future. I'll be turning 38 this year and I feel as if it keeps getting better. Besides the wrinkles (ugh, I'm not lying) it really is getting better. I've learned a lot from my chosen path, my mistakes and my good decisions. It makes me appreciate me more and I've become a stronger more confident woman from all of my experiences.

And as my Mom always says "you make your own luck". I did, I do and I'll keep on keeping!

Anyway, here's to life, luck and the pursuit of happiness!


jilly said...

What a sweet and heartfelt story, thank you so much for sharing.

I turn 38 a week from Monday, and I always reflect back on the year and think about things, get a little melancholy and such. I know what you mean.

I always say, and I think I said it twice last week and once this weekend, "you create your own destiny". I always think sure, I believe in kharma and destiny and such, but sometimes it needs a little push or guidance. I guess I am not one to just sit back and let things happen, I need to be right in there helping it out.

E said...

i love your stories- you ARE quite lucky! :)

(and if you feel up to more sharing, a fellow blogger who is considering IVF may like to hear from you- it sounds like you had a long and persistent journey in conceiving your son-- i'm so glad it all worked out!

The Mrs. said...

What an awesome post. I love that story!!!! I love that you didn't go through with the wedding just to please everyone else. You followed your heart and it paid off HUGE!
I did IVF to have Landon and I feel the same way when I look at him! Lucky!!!

Tres Poshe Preppy said...

What a great post! I can relate all too well but unfortunately on the other side. I married someone who like you said was lovely but it wasn't right and I wasted 7 years with him and even though I wonder about all the "what ifs" in life, I think I had to take that path to see what was truly important and dear to me. I'm also turning 38 (HOLY MOLY how time flies) this year and hope that I get that happily ever after! It won't be how I planned it all but sometimes that is what makes this journey the gift that it is. You are so fortunate on so many levels and it's always important to take note. :)

BTW- If Nancy Grace can have kids at her age, I have to think I have time, it keeps me keeping on! ;)

Mom x 2 said...

Your post really touched me - what a great post. It sounds like you have a lesson in there to teach your son when he's older - it's better to follow your heart than to not ruffle feathers.

hqm said...

Great post! You are a brave and clever girl!

suburban prep said...

What a strong woman you are.
I was 35 when I got married. I wasn't sure if I'd ever find the one I was supposed to be with. You have great strength to know that someone wasn't the one for you.
I have a friend who is now married but she got married at 40. They wanted kids and went the IVF route. Unfortunately they were unable to have a child biologically. The 20th they will celebrate their adopted daughter's 2nd birthday.

Beth G. said...

Thanks for the sweet comments! For me, it feels so long ago (the engagement thing) that I was in a tough situation. Now, it's easy to look back and KNOW that I made the right decision. It's a good feeling:)

Happy Homemaker said...

I LOVE that you know yourself so well and are so confident and strong! Thanks for sharing!

Cindy said...

What a great story about following your heart and making your own happy ending.

Tres Posh: I was 36 when I got married and 38 when I had my daughter, and many of my friends have had babies in their early 40s—there definitely still is time if that's what you want.